People Don’t Kill People … Porn Kills People.
WARNING: BEFORE PROCEEDING, PLEASE BE AWARE THAT SOME OF THIS MATERIAL MAY NOT BE APPROPRIATE. Much of what I want to speak about now comes due to a recent picture that a friend of mine posted on her Facebook page (left). I will not address this exact topic in the beginning, but I promise I will address some aspect of it before the end of the post … A few years ago, for Oral Communication class at Oral Roberts University, I was required to do an informative and a persuasive speech on a topic that was closely related to daily life in the world. My topic: pornography. I was quite hesitant at first to choose this topic because of its offensive nature. However, I believed that these presentations were going to indeed speak to someone in the class. Before I say anymore, I would like you to watch this video. These are the last words of, famed serial killer, Ted Bundy …
I am not going to attempt to prove to you that Ted Bundy was fully repentant in his heart; I am, however, going to attempt to point out the major problem that he discussed … pornography. Ted Bundy’s headway into pornography began on one fateful day in an alley behind a drugstore. As he walked down the alley, he encountered a pornographic magazine, with pictures detailing what he terms “violent pornography.” From this point on, Bundy became hooked and wanted more of this stimulating substance. When his search for more intense pornography failed to stimulate him any further, he attempted to re-enact much of what he saw in these magazines. Many times, he would go on college campuses and pretend that he was injured and he would drop his books … for any girl who would come and help him … he would hit them and pull them into his car. Due to the nature of his crimes, I will not divulge any information. As you saw in the video, he does not blame pornography for his actions, but he does attribute much of his behavior to it. The bottom line for Bundy is that pornography was a problem for him and is for other people willing to commit the same crimes he did. I think he gives a very insightful warning of the dangers of delving into pornography.
I do agree with Bundy that those who are deep in pornography … “are your sons and husbands.” I would even add, your daughters and wives. Pornography is a very rampant issue and one that consumes money, friendships, families, and, most importantly, one’s relationship with God. Our culture is filled so heavily with the idea that sex sells. Indeed, it does! From the Victoria’s Secret ads on television to the rated-R movies that steer close to the border between modesty and pornography, sex does sell and it does a good job of showing the culture that such ideas about sexuality are truth (concerning how one should live). Do I think someone can easily fall into the trap of pornography through a simple commercial? Yes! Do I think someone can easily fall into pornography through rated-R movies expressing casual sex? Yes! Especially for kids, these avenues of sexuality can affect them greatly. Interestingly enough, I asked many parents of their response to their child’s viewing of pornography, they simply responded, “It’s just a phase; it will pass.” I’m not sure if that is suffice to say to a child possibly struggling to understand his/her own sexuality. Through researching the many facts and speaking with many friends with this issue, there are not many “pros” to looking at pornography … the cons outweigh the “pros” no matter how you slice it.
One of the main concerns of those I have spoken with was the fact that pornography places a false image of women into their mind. Pornographic films are filled with women who are “perfect” in every physical aspect possible, which is the image that is placed in the mind of a man. Men, after a life in pornography, will attempt to look for someone who fits the characteristics of the “perfect” woman on the screen. The problem is … the image of the “perfect” woman is false … usually only made possible through violent coercion by the producers and directors upon the actress. Even more than this, the problem has also been the constant remembrance of such images. I spoke with a friend of mine who was a pre-med major at ORU. He mentioned the fact that when one’s adrenaline is pumping … whatever event one is doing is burned into the mind by endorphines … making it virtually impossible to ever forget all of the images. The most dire of the effects was the fact that one’s relationship with God is greatly hindered. The walk during these dark times becomes one of silence from God (the hardened heart keeps God out) and an attitude of bondage (as if one will never be free). Even more, these effects also are struggles that women also face in our current culture.
One of the books that I recommend, at least glancing through, is the Final Report of the Attorney General’s Commission on Pornography. Within this text, the government provides an analysis of the pornographic films to date (1986). Moreover, the analysis includes the effects of such a life in pornography, even death. It is a rough 570-page read because of the obscene nature of the events within. So, I would caution that this is not a read for leisure, just one to bring you to the realization of the current problems we are facing.
I am not saying that pornography makes killers, but it sure does pave the way for such a possibility. Even more, pornography does not just kill the doer spiritually; it kills their relationships and walk with God. Pornography is the silent killer … if untreated will take the lives of many.
Here are the questions I pose to you …
What is your attitude towards pornography? Is it acceptable or not? Why or why not?
Regarding the clipping from the magazine (photo at the beginning) … do you think couples can gain a better sense of their sexuality by watching pornographic films together? Do you think this would play against/for the bodies natural tendencies, if it is polluted/strengthened by these films?
If you caught your child (even if you don’t have one) looking at pornography, what would be your reaction? How would you handle the situation?
What sort of life does God call us to live? Where does pornography fit into this life?
Peace,
Mark
Helpful Resources:
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Mark,
Pornography tears the heart out of a man and causes shame. Ultimately, it comes down to someones will. I believe that God is supernatural and that He can take burnt images out of a persons brain. Purity must be our pursuit for the sake of family, relationship with God, and overall happiness.
moralrevolution.com answers some great questions.
See ya
Luke
August 22, 2011 at 12:38 pm
Luke – Agreed. I think God can do that, but what do you say to the person who is living right with God, but still can’t manage to forget these images? Family, relationships and God are quite important, so important that these should be the aim of one’s life who is deep within pornography. Would you say focusing on these aspects can set one free?
Peace,
Mark
August 23, 2011 at 12:10 pm
Pornography is indeed a powerful killing of society. It is incredibly complicated how it works. Sex tends to be related to two powerful motivators of human personality, aggression and intimacy.
More particularly, masculine persons (not males per se) as they tend to focus on sex tends to foster testosterone, which is largely responsible for social learning. When persons do not succeed at a task and are high in testosterone, they tend to become more anxious and agitated (as opposed to successful, high testosterone persons who remain calm). Anxious agitation naturally leads to more aggressive impulses. Pornography, ultimately, creates a mind focused upon the pursuit of sex in fantasies, but rarely helps to get said fulfillment. Thus, aggression and sex become more and more linked, and thus you tend to get into the more perverse forms of sexual fantasy and pornography that can become very violent.
Feminine types (again, not females per se), on the other hand, tend to link sex and intimacy with each other (generally intimacy before sex, but sex can sometimes be used in an attempt to create intimacy). Thus pornography in these types is often times the result of a longing for a level of intimacy they do not have, leading them to increasingly live in the fantasy world and getting further and further away from the real world (at least, the healthy world). In an attempt to try to win over intimacy, they may begin to model what they see in pornography (or, even just standard media with exaggerated portrayals of beauty) in an attempt to capable to produce intimacy with someone, or least what they believes make them capable.
In short pornography does more than just focus on sex. It fosters a world of aggression and distortion, that when mixed together becomes incredibly volatile and disastrous.
August 22, 2011 at 4:56 pm
Owen – Thanks for your response. I agree with you on every aspect. One your first point … I think Ted Bundy and people of the like describe exactly what you mention. The aggression that they felt to fulfill their fantasies was played out into actual events that actually caused harm. There is always the point though where these sexual desires cannot be met by just looking, these must be acted out. Overall, I think your analysis is correct. pornography isn’t about just sex, but as you say, aggression and distortion … things that will ruin one’s life as they begin to actually form relationship with a real woman. It seems that more and movies are beginning to stray closer to the border of being pornography (or quite sexually explicit). What do you think about these films? Is sex good in film?
Peace,
Mark
August 23, 2011 at 12:08 pm
To answer your first question, I can’t say that I do find it acceptable for the simple act of “getting your rocks off.” I think it is acceptable in some circumstances. For instance, you go to a sperm bank to donate sperm. If you are the type of person that can’t just easily get turned on, you’ll need a little motivation. A simple magazine would normally do the trick, but again, some are not capable of being turned on by a still image. I know, it’s still wrong in a sense, because you are looking at another person (people) in lust and masturbating to dirty thoughts about said person (people), but seeing as how you are doing what some would consider a good deed by donating to a sperm bank, I feel it’s more acceptable in the situation.
Regarding the clipping from the magazine (photo at the beginning) … do you think couples can gain a better sense of their sexuality by watching pornographic films together?
I think in the sense of couples watching porn, it matters on the motive. Are they watching the pornographic film to be turned on, or are they watching it for educational purposes? If the first, then that tells me there is something wrong in their relationship, and that they probably are not going to be together for much longer. If the second, then I would say that is acceptable. Some couples like to try new things in the bedroom to spice up the relationship. Picture books, or even written descriptions might not be descriptive enough for them, and so I could understand why some couples would like a video which depicts said sexual acts being done correctly.
Do you think this would play against/for the bodies natural tendencies, if it is polluted/strengthened by these films?
I would answer both, in both cases. Our bodies can be viewed as input driven machines. No matter what, input is going to affect output in some way (either desirably or undesirably), even if it is very subtle. It might lead to better sexual performance, if you use it as a learning tool, or it could lead to being unable to be turned on by your spouse. The more pornography we watch, the greater the amount of input (obviously), and the greater the change in output. Watching too much pornography can lead like you said, to the need for different porn, sometimes more violent in nature. “Progressively” going from consensual sexual acts, to pornographic films depicting hazing or rape. It isn’t a good sign of mental health to be turned on by the idea of rape or hazing, but instead shows that you enjoy seeing someone being forced to do something they wouldn’t naturally desire to do by a “superior.” This sadly isn’t even the extreme cases, but you get my point. Porn affects you mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, etc. It isn’t a bad thing in moderation (1 or 2 times a month/year), but if you let it go out of control, it can lead to serious damage to oneself in every area it affects.
If you caught your child (even if you don’t have one) looking at pornography, what would be your reaction? How would you handle the situation?
It matters on my child’s age. I would be ticked if my child was looking at porn before they had reached puberty, and even for some time after it I would question the reason as to them choosing to watch porn. I know for me personally though, I was watching R-rated movies which depicted sexual scenes way before I ever reached puberty, so I guess I’d be hypocritical if I did tell my kids not to watch the stuff. I might tell them to “be cautious about it, that it is alright to have certain urges, but not to get carried away with them. Be wise, and use self control, that way it doesn’t end up ruining your life.”
What sort of life does God call us to live? Where does pornography fit into this life?
Of course, we all know that God has called us to a life of holiness. He commands us not to covet another man’s wife, and Jesus went so far as to say that any man who looks at another woman in lust is guilty of sin. I guess, it comes down to what I said before, whether you are watching porn to get your rocks off, or if you are watching it as a learning experience, of what to do with your spouse. It’s just my thoughts though.
August 22, 2011 at 8:17 pm
Dennis – As far as motive … I think there may be a few problems. What if one’s motive was pure and they wanted to know what certain body parts looked like or what sex is, do you think they could look at pornography as a way of learning? As you say “correctly,” is pornography and the way it expresses sex really the true way? Don’t you think that looking at such images raises false expectations?
I would disagree with you on the point that is helps and strengthens one’s sexual desire in marriage. What I think this does is that is pollutes the relationship … for both parties. Each of them comes in with an expectation; however, this expectation is greatly heightened (consequently, doing away with previous ones). These heightened expectations are false because of what sort of image is put out through these films (i.e. that men/women should be well-endowed). With the latter point though, I do agree with you to an extent. However, I think that it will progressively lead to re-enactments of such things regardless of the motive.
Can one who is going through puberty really have self-control over sexual desires? Especially if this child is trying to figure out his own sexuality.
Thanks for being honest.
Peace,
Mark
August 23, 2011 at 12:22 pm
Mark,
If someone is dealing with that problem I would say they should do a 7 day water fast and pray for freedom. I believe that it could be demonic spirit attached to someones life. Jesus said that some demons only come out through prayer and fasting. Just because we are in right relationship with God doesn’t mean we won’t be tempted. I don’t think focusing on family will solve any problems. I also think a person should study grace. A good understanding of grace empowers people to conquer sin. Below is a great book on grace as well as a youtube video.
http://www.amazon.com/Destined-Reign-Effortless-Wholeness-Victorious/dp/1577949323
Hope you’re doing well man!
Luke
August 23, 2011 at 1:27 pm